Monday, June 27, 2011

What's stopping you?

My saturday started of with M breakfast, followed by 9 to 10 hours spent in school for group work.

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I spent the day on my notes for Clinical Child Psychology. One of the most interesting chapters, in my opinion. Have you ever enjoyed reading a book so much that once you stop, you almost can't differentiate reality from the world in that very book? The emotional and mental involvement was so great that it felt weird to be in the here-and-now after I was done. Csikszentmihalyi's state of flow?

The part on autistic disorder left me feeling a little sad. I thought of the Asperger's syndrome that was pretty clearly illustrated in House Rules by Jodi Picoult, and realized both disorders sound alike but they aren't exactly the same. And I'm glad I've read it because I've gained a little more understanding about Asperger's, through its manifestation in one of the characters. One thing I love about her books is that she always talks about real issues, and it always feels as though I know the characters in person.

I thought of so many things. I wonder what goes through the mind of someone with autism. I wonder if they are aware. I wonder how they feel about not being able to fully develop necessary communication skills, among some other things that we often take for granted. And every time I come across something like this I wish I could help, and they leave me hungry for a deeper understanding.

I don't want to contribute in little ways; I want to make a significant difference, but that's just being too ambitious right now. Things like this hit me hard every single time and they always stay in my head for some time before being aborted, just so they could come back again.


The opportunity to study what you have an interest in is really, such a privilege.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Word

The precise weight and intensity of emotions can't possibly be held and covered by words. Most of the time, words oversimplify feelings, and shrink thoughts that seemed limitless when they were still in your head. Important things end up sounding more trivial than they really are.

At other times, these permutations of alphabets are violent, and they have temper. They break you, probably even more than how silence could.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Adrenaline






Canoeing. Passion. Pride. Satisfaction. Determination. Team. 110%. I don't even have words to describe it. Every time I come across canoe related things I feel a stab of nostalgia. And I've always wondered how I'd be right now, if I had chosen to join the SIM team.

2 years of caneoing in sajc were the fittest and most memorable years of my life. Accomplished and achieved so many things I never thought I could, physically and mentally. 20km, k4, my 12th in cross country (crazily trying to pace with the soccer girls), 2.4km, countless of sit ups, pull ups, push ups and whatnot. Back then it was row, eat, sleep, and repeat. Besides school (which was supposed to be my priority but it wasn't), it was just training after training. School mates always said we had "no life" but they couldn't be more wrong because canoeing was the life we chose, the sport we loved, and the passion we ignited.


"This, I remember thinking, the only word I could hold on to in a sea of feelings."

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.

Back to school for a group meeting on an early Saturday morning. On the bright side, Alwyn bought BK breakfast for us!

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Monster.

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Vainpot hahaha.

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I'm looking forward to the psy324 test on thursday, although I'm not even half way through for the revision. After which we will have 9 days to study for our 2 final papers and then we'll have a short break and welcome summer 2! Summer's such a killer. I don't think I've ever worked so hard for any of the previous semesters. It's quite satisfying, don't you think?

Hasta la vista, baby.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Pencil for my thoughts

Look what I foundddddd~

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HAHA wearing my mum's lipstick and looking retarded with the hair.

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Yesterday I took a 2-hour nap in the evening and dreamt of an earthquake with a magnitude of 18 (is it even possible?). I was at home with Nurin (haha) and my family when we felt tremors and I went to hide under my dining table. My flat broke into half (I could actually hear it cracking) and when it was falling in slow motion (think falling tree) I passed a table to my mum so she could shield herself. I think I must be quite strong in my dream. So anyway I honestly thought all of us were gonna be crushed and killed. I was so terrified and that was when I woke up - still shaken. :'(

Today I took another nap in the afternoon and dreamt that my grandmother was packing her luggage because she was intending to go Europe to look for a place for all of us to stay. Sounds good right? But in my dream I suddenly had a baby brother, no grandfather, and no parents. :'(

Recently I also dreamt that one of my family members committed suicide. :'(


I always wake up discomposed, disturbed, terror-stricken. I know they are dreams after all but they always feel so real, and always occur when I'm taking my naps. :( :( :(

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Never lean on what will bend.

Supposed to catch Something Borrowed last night, but I think we booked the tickets wrongly, booked the ones for the show on the previous day. We didn't realise it at all, and the people in our row kept asking us to show our tickets because they were short of seats. We insisted that we were right, until someone from the management came to check and realised ours were of the wrong day. And it was actually at the same time in the same room! So... we got chased out hahahahaha.

Nic's friend's birthday, so we got signed into Filter!

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I brought home a litecube!

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Frog leg porridge at Geylang. Which I refused to eat despite being told many times that it tastes like chicken, because I kind of witnessed the whole skinning process and all when I was in primary school. :(

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My lunch for today! ^^


As long as you stop wanting something, you get it.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Love II

Your love for me was about intimacy. Your love for me was expressive. It did not stay still, nor did it stay silent. It was a vehement desire, intense and passionate.

We were lying on the grass side by side, staring into the vast blue sky. You told me that you loved me. How much, I asked, "Is the sky the limit?" You said the sky was beyond reach.

My love for you was, on the other hand, inaudible and faint. It was hard to hear, and sometimes it was so quiet you wouldn't even know it's there. But it didn't mean my love for you was any less profound. My love for you knew no fading of hope, and no boundary to trust. It was enduring, the only thing that stood when everything else had fallen. Some go through their days parched and desolate, with a thirst for happiness. But with you, I was in a river of opulence.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Love

A rapturous delight and a torturous affliction. Freedom and enthrallment.

When we love someone, their physical attributes cease to matter. We begin to bask in their essence, recognise their scent, and remember the way they hold their pens. We see only the quintessence of the person, and we see beyond the skin.

Sometimes love wrestles you to the ground; at other times, it helps you weather all storms. Sometimes it is unrequited, and at other times it is incomplete. It is irrational and liberating at the same time. It is powerful, flawed, and imperfect.

It is cliché. It is overused. It is easily devalued. It is illogical. It is sometimes too abrupt, and sometimes too bold. But it is amazing how despite everything, love is the only thing that keeps us going.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Bumble bee

Pictures from Nurin's camera:

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Survived last afternoon + night with 2 cans!

x First test for psy324 is done! Put in so much effort for it, sighhh, it'd better not go to waste. I've fallen sick. Need a good rest. Have been thinking about so many things but I don't have the time to pen them down. Have been so busy. Not complaining though. Sometimes I feel so motivated and excited when there's so much to study. Keeps me occupied, and I am studying something that I have an interest in. It's a privilege, isn't it?

x Ok so I sound so incoherent now sighhhhh runny nose, sneezing like mad, headache, eyes are stinging and tearing. :(

x Good news: Research Paper from last sem was returned to us today! So pleased with it hehe. It was worth all my time and effort.

x On msn, Sunm left me an offline message saying that she has a friend called Human (real name). Sunm said if I ever meet him and when he introduces himself "Hi, I'm human.", I should say "Ya, me too." Hahahahahaah.

x On whatsapp:

CQL: I got 210000 electronic pounds per week. Tomorrow I treat you all eat electronic food.
Cherry: Yummm we'll all grab a byte.

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Gonna end off with a picture of my psy324 lecturer hehe. He sat with us for lunch one day and Ben showed him magic tricks. I think he was quite impressed! ^^

Friday, June 3, 2011

Reverie

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Current earworms: Lifehouse, Muse, and Oasis.

EWF

Thursday: EWF at Holland V. Finally satisfied my craving for curry fries. ^^

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